Tuesday, February 19, 2008

general

Havn't wrote in a very long time.

Kinda have had a general entry in my head for a while. The perfect entry. But it's funny how if you don't write things down quickly enough they get, I dunno "moldy?".

A note- I hate grammer when I write posts. I wish I could be poetic with beautiful prose and imagrey to my words.


So here is the post. GENERAL.

Its funny how life moves. How it shifts and changes. How I am the same today as yesterday but not completly. and I am not sure always in which ways I am different and the same.
Maybe exterior like going from one bad haircut to the next [no change there] or do I slowly care more about my appearance then yesterday- nope. I am just as vain as before....
though maybe I am more bold in admiting it.
Yes I am vain- shoot me.
I'd rather admit my flaws and sins then deal with them at this current juncture of my life I feel.
If I want to be an asshole damn I shall be, let me be.
but I don't really want to be an asshole so please don't let me be.....

LIfe and it's meaning. I still search for it. I still search for Love.
I just hate my skattered brain and skattered life. In search for the truth there must exist search for the focus. A focused life is the most powerful. But I think we all put it off trying to figure out what to focus on. Money- to neglect a family. A family to neglect material possessions. God to neglect selfishness.
If you focus though- you acheive it. If you take the sun and focus it with a glass you can burn through just about anything.

Crazy.

So been reading Che guevara bio. Great. I really feel like I can relate to him. Alot. Not the communist revolutionary part. But the driving qualities underneath. Luckly nutrure vs nature the nuture has won out in my case.
I want to fight but I think to fight non-violently is the only way to acheive sustainable change. I believe in helping one another and common rights of the rich and poor.
But I believe that it can't be forced as a system. But a much better breed of socialism can exist in communities where there is Love. Where the rich open their homes and kitchens and the poor open their hearts and their lives.

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