All is forgoten

I do lots of odd jobs.
Today, I was going through old movie props to sell and give to charity.

I could keep anything I liked.
I didn't want much but there was a lot of old books they used for set dressing[the
movie was a period piece.]

I have this thing for old books.
Something about them are magic to me.

So I went through boxes and boxes stuffed with books. Looking for that rare gem, I found hundreds of stories I've never even heard of. From the 20's to the 60's.
Lots of sappy love stories written in Victorian language, High society, marriage and riches.
Basically poorly written versions of Pride and Prejudice [Hey we all can't be Jane Austin]

It got me thinking. All these stories, and authors forgotten, many of these were by larger publishers, so it wasn't for lack of distribution..
For all the space these books took up in the storage bins, I figure they would make better firewood then reading material. They are worthless.

All the time and effort of writing, only to be forgotten in a few decades.

Misgivings and Beliefs

Church.

Grew up there my entire life.

Preaching, lots of it.


I always thought it'd be good without the hypocrisy.


Years later and I am older. By default I have somehow gotten into ministry--[]

Clean

Every see the wizard of Oz?
You know the tornado in the beginning?
Thats how some have chosen to describe my room.

Its not that I'm a unclean person. It's just, well cluttered.

I am ordered for periods of time, until everything comes crashing down.
I've gotten to that point recently.
I try to stay organized, but its almost like my brain can't handle having too many possesions.
Anyone want my stuff?

My heart now

Maybe I will fail.
But if I do I will be the hindenberg.
I will go up in flames.
I will not fail quiety living the unexaimined life.